Don’t Stop the Party!

I drove through the neighborhood the day after Christmas and, as usual, was dismayed to see Christmas trees, stripped and discarded on the curbs. “Don’t stop the party!” I call out. (This is a battle cry I have taken from some of my most alive friends.) But few seem to be listening.  I accept that, but I will not stop haranguing about celebrating the twelve days of Christmas. The celebrations can be quiet and small, and don’t have to include partridges in pear trees or five golden rings. Intentionality is required, however, and perseverance. Before you say “bah humbug,” read on about how I keep the party going.

 On the second day of Christmas, a sense of calmness settled in my soul as rain pounded on the roof. After two days of big family celebrations, I was happy to sit by my fireplace and gaze at the Nativity scene. I allowed my mind to wander and wonder about Christmas past, the meaning of the Incarnation. I re-read the book Nativities of the World and savored each beautiful photograph. I listened to the Christmas section of Handel’s Messiah, and ate a few Christmas cookies. Then I read the final chapters of the novel Euphoria by Lily King, one of my recent favorite novelists. I celebrated the love of reading, one of the greatest gifts I have ever received.

On the third day of Christmas, I went to see the movie “Hamnet” with my daughters and a friend. We had all read the book by Maggie O’Farrell (another favorite author) and were eager to see how it was adapted. The story chronicles the impact of losing a child on a family, in this case, Shakespeare’s son, Hamnet, who died of the plague when he was only twelve.  Both the film and the book pack a powerful emotional response.  Read the book first, is my advice! Afterward, we went out to dinner and dissected the whole movie over delicious Thai food. There is nothing like a great conversation with people you love! My heart was full when I returned to the quiet of my home. Celebrating around a table creates unforgettable sacramental moments.

On the fourth day of Christmas, I walked the entire Dana Point Harbor with one of my dearest friends, and we talked about Christmas, family, and the importance of spending time together. We drank hot chocolate, even though it was a glorious sixty-five degrees and sunny. Then we paid a visit to the beautiful Nativity scene at St. Edward the Confessor Church, where we both used to work. Although we see it every year, we fell silent before the life-size figures. In the background, sunbeams turned the ocean view into a sea of diamonds. The hush was holy and full of many sweet memories. Celebrating friendship, sans phones and distractions, deepens bonds of love and well-being.

As I age, I feel the sense of calm, peaceful celebration increasing. My spirit is much more receptive to the deep-down serenity that often eluded me during my busier years. Perhaps peace is merely an ideal we strive for our entire lives, and only catch fleeting moments when we are generative, busy, and restless for more. When we are privileged to live longer, time does not slow down; however, the ability to slip into the stillness is no longer another task on the to-do list. Time spent in contemplation opens the door to the timelessness of the Holy One, and to inner peace that can then be shared with all who grace our lives.

To be continued. . .

Friends on Twelfth Night

O star of wonder, star of light, star with royal beauty bright,
westward leading, still proceeding, guide us to thy perfect light.”

The Twelve Days of Christmas are officially over today.  While I always feel a little sad about ending the season, I have had so many wonderful celebrations and illuminated moments this year! Besides seeing “The Nutcracker,” “A Christmas Carol,” and three magical Christmas concerts, I had fabulous family celebrations, Christmas teas with friends, and adventures looking at lights. Then, to mark the end of the Christmas season, a group of faith-filled friends gathered  last evening to celebrate Twelfth Night and the Epiphany, sometimes referred to as “Little Christmas.”

Seventeen of us gathered at a cozy home, still beautifully decorated and lit for Christmas with a magnificent tree, creche, and evergreen boughs.  We intentionally entered into a familiar final Christmas celebration focused on the story of three “kings” who make a long journey, following a star. We proclaimed readings from the Gospel of Matthew, T.S.Eliot’s “The Journey of the Magi” and Jan Richardson’s “Wise Women Also Came.” Then we held a special ritual for Epiphany written by my dear friend, Tessa Bielecki from her book SEASON OF GLAD SONGS: A CHRISTMAS ANTHOLOGY. 

We sang “We Three Kings,” meditated on the gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh, blessed chalk and then wrote the initials of the three Magi (Caspar, Melchoir, Balthazar) along with the date: C+20+M+B25, over the front door to light the way of pilgrims and seekers.  Afterward, we feasted on delicious appetizers, sweets, and a traditional spicy Kings’ Cake with hidden surprises. As conversations and laughter flowed, I felt surreally caught up in the light of the “star of wonder” by this mystical circle of friends who miraculously decorate my life every day.  

I have said this before, but no one on the planet is luckier than me to have such richness. I say “luckier” rather than “blessed” because I believe God blesses everyone equally. Some of us, in rare moments of transcendence, realize this. No explanations can be given. It is simply pure luck (some call it grace), a free gift, to have such loving friends, rituals, precious moments of togetherness, when all troubles and suffering are put aside and we bask in the glory of a starry night. The only response is gratitude, big gratitude, in my case.

“Friends are the best presents,” is a phrase embroidered on a little Christmas pillow given to me many years ago. May we never take that for granted.

Twelve Days to Celebrate!

It’s Christmas Eve—the most “filled-with-anticipation” day of the year for excited children and harried parents busy making memories and dreams come true. I breathe in deeply and smile because after four weeks of Advent, the longing is over. It’s time for an almost two-week celebration of JOY! Well, at least for some of us!

Every year, beginning on December 25, it has been my tradition to fully celebrate all twelve days of Christmas. No gifts of partridges in pear trees (although I do like to ponder the symbolism of that song), rather, a grateful response for the many gifts of that light that blaze from even the most quotidian of places.

Simply put, I love this designated time to celebrate the Incarnation, the infusion of the Divine into every order corner of my life. At year’s end, this practice steadies and fortifies me for whatever the coming twelve months will bring. I think of this as an indulgent gift, not only to myself but to all who strive for wisdom and seek more meaning out of life than our consumer culture can ever provide. Rather than feeling let down the day after Christmas (as so many children often experience), or a sense of “good riddance” (as so many adults experience), the elation increases each day and encourages me to stay in the “Christmas frame of mind” through Epiphany on January 6th.

For years, I have written and shared these reflections with family and friends, in person and online, and many of you have accompanied me on this little sojourn. So once again, I invite you to take this twelve-day journey with me. Resist the urge to take down the tree and put away the decorations early! Linger for a while in the glow, linger in the light, and feel rightfully energized when the first week of 2025 unfolds.