Don’t Stop the Party!

I drove through the neighborhood the day after Christmas and, as usual, was dismayed to see Christmas trees, stripped and discarded on the curbs. “Don’t stop the party!” I call out. (This is a battle cry I have taken from some of my most alive friends.) But few seem to be listening.  I accept that, but I will not stop haranguing about celebrating the twelve days of Christmas. The celebrations can be quiet and small, and don’t have to include partridges in pear trees or five golden rings. Intentionality is required, however, and perseverance. Before you say “bah humbug,” read on about how I keep the party going.

 On the second day of Christmas, a sense of calmness settled in my soul as rain pounded on the roof. After two days of big family celebrations, I was happy to sit by my fireplace and gaze at the Nativity scene. I allowed my mind to wander and wonder about Christmas past, the meaning of the Incarnation. I re-read the book Nativities of the World and savored each beautiful photograph. I listened to the Christmas section of Handel’s Messiah, and ate a few Christmas cookies. Then I read the final chapters of the novel Euphoria by Lily King, one of my recent favorite novelists. I celebrated the love of reading, one of the greatest gifts I have ever received.

On the third day of Christmas, I went to see the movie “Hamnet” with my daughters and a friend. We had all read the book by Maggie O’Farrell (another favorite author) and were eager to see how it was adapted. The story chronicles the impact of losing a child on a family, in this case, Shakespeare’s son, Hamnet, who died of the plague when he was only twelve.  Both the film and the book pack a powerful emotional response.  Read the book first, is my advice! Afterward, we went out to dinner and dissected the whole movie over delicious Thai food. There is nothing like a great conversation with people you love! My heart was full when I returned to the quiet of my home. Celebrating around a table creates unforgettable sacramental moments.

On the fourth day of Christmas, I walked the entire Dana Point Harbor with one of my dearest friends, and we talked about Christmas, family, and the importance of spending time together. We drank hot chocolate, even though it was a glorious sixty-five degrees and sunny. Then we paid a visit to the beautiful Nativity scene at St. Edward the Confessor Church, where we both used to work. Although we see it every year, we fell silent before the life-size figures. In the background, sunbeams turned the ocean view into a sea of diamonds. The hush was holy and full of many sweet memories. Celebrating friendship, sans phones and distractions, deepens bonds of love and well-being.

As I age, I feel the sense of calm, peaceful celebration increasing. My spirit is much more receptive to the deep-down serenity that often eluded me during my busier years. Perhaps peace is merely an ideal we strive for our entire lives, and only catch fleeting moments when we are generative, busy, and restless for more. When we are privileged to live longer, time does not slow down; however, the ability to slip into the stillness is no longer another task on the to-do list. Time spent in contemplation opens the door to the timelessness of the Holy One, and to inner peace that can then be shared with all who grace our lives.

To be continued. . .

Read-Walk-Write-Create

Summertime has arrived in all its sun-drenched, salty air beauty in Southern California. I wake at dawn and breathe deeply. Birds perform their daily arias, jasmine incense perfumes the air, and my heart lifts in gratitude. I have been gifted with another day, another chance to embrace life. How can I make the most of this time, surrounded by a million distractions? This is a question people frequently ask in spiritual direction. Choosing action words can help. Here are mine: read, walk, write, create. Prayer is the umbrella over all.

My day begins and ends with reading, nourishment and sustenance for my soul. Long ago, wise spiritual guides told me that with so many choices, I should make a list and only read “the best.” Such a great idea! I love lists and will post some on future blogs. My goal is to read about a hundred pages a day, and I usually have a novel and spiritual book going simultaneously. Reading every day provides a pleasurable escapism, but also provides opportunities for lifelong learning and spiritual growth.

Commitment to writing every day has long been a fulfilling practice. This may not be your thing, but I invite you to try journaling your thoughts about life sometime. Remember, no one will read what you wrote or give you a grade. I promise your concentration and memory will benefit greatly. Writing calms and grounds the restlessness that often accompanies mindless activity. Your writing does not have to be long, nor even your own. Handwritten thoughts and inspiring quotes decorate a paper calendar I keep on my desk. Blank verse poems fill a digital spiritual journal on my computer. Both connect me to the present and give me reflective material for the future.

Walking an hour a day has become an embodied prayer that I never skip, even when I am not feeling well! The Buddhist monk, Thict Naht Hahn, a friend of Thomas Merton, wrote about the importance of walking mindfully by opening the senses and noticing everything in nature. (His book, The Miracle of Mindfulness, is on my top ten list of most influential spiritual books.) I cherish my early morning and late afternoon strolls with my aging Golden Retriever, who slows me down so that I can take a long, loving look at the Real. Walks on the beach several times a week also fill me with wonder. On Monday mornings at 9:00 AM, I meet with friends on Beach Road for “Soul Walk,” an hour-long, silent prayer for world peace. Come join us!

On balance, the introspection of reading, writing, and mindful walking prompts me to create something tangible each day. Most passive spiritual practices need the concreteness of action, and great joy emanates from the process of creating something with my hands.  Whether it’s planting flowers, baking a cake, knitting a blanket, painting with watercolors, or simply rearranging my many-layered collections of home treasures, I feel most enlivened by the process of doing something creative. Giving away or sharing the product also enhances the experience!

How would you describe your practice in four words or less? Everyone is different with different needs, time constraints, and circumstances. The most important part of cultivating a spiritual practice is to actually practice. Whatever you do, I honor and bless your way. This summer, no matter what you decide, stay faithful, keep seeking.

Books on the Tenth Day of Christmas

“I wish I had a river I could skate away on; I wish I had a river so long it would teach my feet to fly. . .I wish I had a river I could skate away on. . .” from “River” by Joni Mitchell

No secret: I am a bibliophile. Libraries and bookstores rank high on my list of favorite places. Lately, one of my most pleasurable activities is scouring the bookshelves of Friends of the Library and local thrift stores. Today, on the tenth day of Christmas, I made a little excursion to offset the “after Christmas” doldrums.  The treasured volumes I find delight and astound me! I love rescuing favorites so I can gift them to friends and family.  I only buy the books I have already read and know are worth the time and effort. The best part, these precious tomes are a bargain—each a dollar or two at the most.

I have skated away on a river of books ever since I learned to read for pleasure. Novels, nonfiction, classic literature, children’s books—well, I love them all. My children and grandchildren are well aware of this facet of my personhood. One of their Christmas gifts every year is a book I think they need to read. I resist the urge to question them later. My hope is that they keep the books and someday, when ready, will read them.

In our technologically-oriented culture, people today do not read much for escape and pleasure any more. That does not settle well in my soul. According to a recent YouGov survey, around 54% of Americans reported reading at least one book in 2023, with a significant portion (46%) stating they did not read any books in the past year; this data suggests a decline in overall reading habits compared to previous years. I find this shocking, especially with anxiety and depression on the rise. We all need a reading river to skate away on sometimes!

 Unfortunately, that river is most often social media, texting, or internet cyberspace environments that do not transport to a land of enchantment and beauty. My youngest daughter is a high school English teacher, and we have many conversations about how to nurture the next generation of readers. Her students read all the time on their phones but not the literature she assigns so she often reads with her students in class to pique their interest in the stories. I think this is a good strategy—sort of like reading with children at bedtime, evoking a sense of intimacy and enjoyment.  Admittedly, this does not work all the time. Mysteriously, many people do not find reading for pleasure a priority and sadly, there are no quick fixes.

Meanwhile, I will continue my crusade to help others find this enriching and free pathway. While challenging, perhaps we elders should share our wisdom (without judgment) and teach our young ones how to skate.

May you feel the glorious freedom flowing from the river of books right at your fingertips.