Author: Seeking Wisdom

I love the word “tarry.” It means to linger, which is a simple definition of what I have come to understand as contemplative living. This word has followed me around since I was very young, popping up from time to time when least expected. Some months ago, while outlining the book Joy Unspeakable (Barbara Holmes) for my study group, there it was again, leaping out of a page in a one-liner I could not miss. I held the word in my mind’s embrace, the resonance growing, knowing that “tarry” would be my word for Advent 2021.

Listening to the silence in between the noise of so much November chaos, still acclimating to my retirement from ministry, I realized delightedly that “tarry” had become a reality for me. No longer did I have to sigh and yearn for the possibility of “some day.” My spirit soars with gratitude while my soul cries out: I can tarry all I want now–what a revelation!

So this year, I did not write an Advent book for our community. I did not do a daily blog sent to thousands by text message. I did not do a weekly podcast or an Advent evening of prayer as in the past. Instead, I am tarrying over everything I choose to do: writing, reading, walking, listening, cooking, noticing, accepting any and all offers for personal contact. I am no longer “too busy.” My calendar is deliciously free of engagements!

People always ask me what I would do when I was retired, seemingly fearful that I would wither on the vine or be bored. I knew that would never happen. My heart’s desire has always been to write, do retreats, and spiritual guidance. How liberated I feel, how free, how grateful to have this time of holy leisure, to tarry awhile, at this phase of my life. And best of all, deep within, the Taproot surges with renewed energy, the voice of the Holy One telling me to share the wisdom I have learned from being on a serious spiritual journey for forty years now. As always, I listen to the tapping, the call, the little voice within.

On the Second Sunday of Advent (December 5), some friends gathered at the home of Jack and Gina Robertson to tarry awhile with me as we reflected on the Season of Advent in a very personal, intimate setting. Like the early Christians, we became a “house church” simply united by the trinitarian love flowing effortlessly through our lives. We had music, readings, reflections, journal prompts, and personal sharing. The stream of love and grace in that small group flowed out from our little corner of Dana Point to the community of a world in need.

Throughout the remainder of Advent, Christmas, and into the New Year, I will be sharing my usual reflections online and offering rituals and small group gatherings. My hope is that those of you SEEKING WISDOM will find some inspiration and comfort in my efforts to humbly share what I have learned.

HERE’S THE TAKEAWAY FOR ADVENT THIS YEAR:

• T – Tarry Awhile
• A – Awake Aware
• R R – Remember the Rendezvous
• Y – Yearn for More

INTRODUCTION: “Not many of us know how to be holy.” Kirk Franklin, Gospel Singer African worship experiences are contemplative because a) they create an atmosphere for communal listening and responsiveness to God; b) they impact the ethos and value system of a community; c) they heal infected social and psychic wounds.

THAT OLD SHIP OF ZION: Africans brought to America on slave ships had to construct their own “Ark of Safety.” This strengthened resolve and survival skills: “crisis contemplation.” “Inclusion is not just a racial issue.” Barbara Holmes Class distinctions broke down but gender and sexual identity distinctions did not–still struggling with these.

I DON’T WANT TO CRY ANYMORE: African worship experience – they have “forgotten how to lament.” Tired of it. Don’t want symbols of Good Friday anymore. Rev. Cecil Williams took down the cross in his church so it wouldn’t be a constant reminder of Christian death ritual.

Question from Barbara Holmes: Have we taken down the cross in our individual hearts and in communal worship for the same reason?

CONTEMPLATION IN PEWS: Took Barbara Holmes a few years of experiencing different liturgies to realize that freedom comes in many forms. Freedom denied in the workplace was being recreated in storefront churches as holy dance, rhythms of proclaimed word, sense of transformation, sense of awe/expectation, weeping, shouts, and silence. All contemplative practices were “hidden in plain sight.” Barbara Holmes’ life was forever changed by contemplation in the pews. She became a minister “with a light around her,” because of these communities.

TRANSOFRMED BY THE DANCE: Indigenous communities formed on the notion that worship is holistic, cannot escape involving the body and they celebrate this fact. Communal dance, choral dancing, movement styles all typical expressions of people offering their bodies for praise. Authenticity seldom judged – not controlled. The “flow of God” is manifested uniquely in each of us so no need to control or intellectualize it. Just let it happen!

How does this compare to our experiences of liturgy?

SUFFER THE LITTLE CHILDREN: Children are encouraged to “play church.” They enter into the liturgical experience of shouting, dancing, etc., as a natural activity. What do we do to our children at church?

MOURNER’S BENCH: THAT’S NOT IT: The place where sinners or the unsaved and uncommitted prayer for God’s anointing; a public portal into participation in communal contemplative practices; a mediation of spiritual powers far beyond individual’s control. Fakes are called out: “That’s not it!’ Is this like the RCIA dismissal experience? How does it change a community to witness such a place?

CONTEMPLATING BAPTISM: Water and the Spirit ritual comes alive in the Pentecostal Church; people emerge from the water speaking in tongues and totally changed. The BC adapted well – had river rituals of cleansing in Africa; infants baptized in connection to the ancestors. Are our sacramental rituals too tame?

ECSTATIC SINGING: OPENING THE HEAVENLY DOOR: Africans crossed back and forth “beyond the veil” evidenced by songs of praise spontaneously raised by anyone who was moved; a result of the in-dwelling of the Spirit, creating an atmosphere of transcendence; singers were “anointed” by repetition of verses; contemplative as deep listening abides between every note and stanza. How does this compare to the music in our church?

PRAYING IN THE CLOSET AND IN THE PEW: Black experiences of “shut-ins” where people would stay and pray all night provided a permeable boundary of life/death; this allowed for a cloistering: 1. tarrying (waiting expectancy), 2. a place for contemplation 3. a communion with God for those seeking union; stressed vocalizing prayer; BH wants to revive this in the BC.

A CASE STUDY: HOWARD THURMANS’S CHIRST TODAY: Thurman’s community in SF, an eclectic congregation, still open today; quiet, familiar music; Scripture readings; guided meditations on forgiveness of self/others; fluid names for God; embraces; great food afterward. BH went to experience this in 2002/

SHIFTING THE EPHASIS IN WORSHIP: From preacher/star to empowered congregation – this is where the BC needs to go if it is to sustain itself, acc. to BH. Shift addresses burnout of pastors, prevalent abuses of power by clergy, lack of spiritual initiative from pews; might not be possible in the institutional church–may have to emerge from small committed groups. BH lists phases (see end of chapter)

SEEDS OF HOPE (A Summary): Who shall we bless the past and pass on the contemplative aspects she outlines: through sorrow, strengthened by activism and postcolonial bib. interpretation (next chapter).

What are the seeds of hope you need to sow?

This week’s gathering at Marie G’s house was small but stimulating. Thanks to all who could be there and to Marie for hosting so graciously. We have not gathered to discuss this book in a long time so it was wonderful simply sitting in our circle of friends once again. For those of you who missed, here are some highlights and some food for thought.

The vividness of Barbara Holmes’ descriptions of slave holds, plantation practices, and hush arbors in Chapter 3 evoked a deep sense of sadness in me, the same one I often feel when I read about the Jewish Holocaust or the many pogroms (some still occurring today). How does this happen? Why does racial hatred continue to spill over into our streets and our conversations? While Barbara does not directly attempt to answer these age-old questions, she does give an interesting explanation on how they coped. She calls it “crisis contemplation.” This is strangely comforting to me. Through what she calls “inversion,” the African captives’ unthinkable pain and suffering formed a bedrock foundation of inner, spiritual strength. Those who survived were able to turn inward somehow. The whip, the ring shout, the circle dance of the auction blocks, and the hush arbors of the plantations, called the diverse strangers into contemplation of their primal knowledge of divine presence that had begun in their families and villages. Unity beyond language barriers and customs evolved out of their shared experience of horror and pain.

Our discussion eventually ended with several questions. What can we do? How can we, a small group of affluent white women, change or transform the current climate of racism? It all seems so hopeless sometimes to “just pray” about the situation. I shared that my experience with contemplative prayer has helped in this regard. Tessa and the other Carmelite monks of the Spiritual Life Institute taught me long ago that a contemplative, recollected life truly becomes the the “Real Presence” of Christ in this world. It is the Beloved who emerges from me when I can remain centered, attentive, present to the beauty, truth, goodness of every ordinary moment. As Barbara Holmes says in this chapter, “It is only radical love that can transform this situation.” My intention is to always be in that flow, every day, every moment, for it is the Christ in us all who holds the world together. The empathy, tears, compassion, smiles, joy in the little things, all of the stuff of our lives, allows that love to flow endlessly into the world. Like the monks of old who dedicated their lives to praying for the world, I can use my life to the same purpose as an undercover agent for radical love. What do you think? Please leave a comment!

FYI: Our next meeting is scheduled for Monday, October 18 at 9:30 AM at the home of Marie Ryan.

PLEASE MARK YOUR CALENDARS: The annual women’s retreat is coming back NOVEMBER 6-7. We will have a different environment and schedule this year as we adapt during Covid. More details to follow.